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“A righteous man regardeth the life of his beast.” Proverbs 12:10a

I haven’t written in a while. I guess everyone who writes as much as I do, faces the inevitable writer’s block on occasion. For me, writer’s block emerges when there is abnormal stress in my life. While homeschooling falls into a pattern, and becomes more of a blessing than a burden, another stress holds my writing in bondage.

My dog Oliver is dying. He is slowly fading away. I have cried many tears and begged God to take him, in his sleep, for he’s suffered over a year with congestive heart.

It has been a challenge, waking several times in the middle of the night, to walk him outside, or hold him in my arms in the dark, while he coughs up his phlegm, then awaken with eyes half open, to homeschool my children all day. Almost every weekend, Jay and I decide, we’ll take him in on Monday, to put him to sleep. I sob all weekend long, and then Monday rolls around and Oliver perks up and eats again, and sleeps through the night. It’s as if he knows our plans.

He’s as reluctant to give up me, as I am to give up him. He is my shadow. He is my friend.

So, slowly I watch him fade day by day, like peeling off a painful bandage a tiny bit at a time, instead of ripping it all off at once. A part of me is looking forward to the bandage being gone, so the wound can heal.

At 3 am this morning, when Oliver was struggling to breathe,I held him in my arms and told him how precious he was to me. I prayed again for God to take him. God revealed in my darkened bedroom, my lack of faith. He reminded me of His promise, He will never give us more than we can bear. I am sure that goes for His animals too. He reminded me His eye is on the tiny sparrow. For, He loved His creations so much, He allowed Adam to give them each a name. He also gave them individual characteristics, colors, mannerisms, and survival instincts. So, if God did all of this for His animals, He loves His Oliver too, and knows how much life Oliver has left. He will let us know when the time comes, and the way my dog should go.

Oliver is sound asleep at my feet now, he followed me in this room and collapsed on the floor. He still struggles to follow me everywhere I go. I will stop praying for God to take him. I refuse to return the gift God is giving me, of the last moments with this precious life. If you have a pet, make sure you give them a hug today.