Image via Wikipedia

Today, was uniform day. Most mom’s probably enjoy the idea of putting their young men in crisp polyester, but not me. I know this must sound shallow, but all I could imagine is hot sticky, chaffed, skin, and stiff walking boys.  I am trying to understand the reasoning behind the polyester. I have asked around and heard everything from, “holds up nicely, never wear out.” to “they don’t wrinkle if left in the dryer.” These homeschooling moms are a practical bunch, and I agree with their responses. These pants couldn’t wear out, if you dragged them behind an 18 wheeler down I-95. The fabric’s thick, but for an added bonus, they ironed a thick patch on the knee. Gotta keep those knees hidden behind three inches of fabric.

I also agree they will never bear a wrinkle, for  as I open the dryer, they spring out at me, on their own two legs. I have to practically lift my son up to place him in his pants.

So, today, at the Sunshine Uniform shop, and clad in his polyester shorts which cover his knees mind you,  Christian transformed before my eyes, he shrank and widened a few feet. He looked in the mirror, crossed his eyes and said, “I think I look a little nerdy.” I had to quickly swallow the bout of giggles rising in my chest, and tell him he looked incredibly handsome, all the while trying to maintain a straight face.

My son Nick refuses to wear shorts, unless it’s gym shorts, so he tried on the long polyester khaki pants with the pleats. He yelled through the dressing room door, “If I have to try on one more pair of stiff pants, I’ll just go butt naked.” The mommas waiting in line, raised their brows. I probably deserved the embarrassment, as mentally I was planning my revolution, with a polyester pant bonfire. “Burn the polyester!”

Oh well, I am outnumbered and definitely the newbie in town, I guess I will have to stock up on some Shower to Shower, and dump some in their britches on the two mornings, they have to go to school. I am longing for my lost love, the fabric of my life.